It Takes Two

Do you discuss your finances with your partner? If not, you may be in the minority on that score. Experts assert that approximately 95% of all couples make joint decisions on spending. So, honey, do you know our finances?

Our parents handled finances in an entirely different way – some husbands always took care of the bills and doled out weekly allowances to their wives. In fact, today, one partner may handle the bills and balance the checkbook. This type of control by one person can be the catalyst for many arguments, particularly about overspending. Unless, of course, the other partner doesn’t mind and is given constant updates as to how much is spent and saved.

Today, given the rising costs of food and gas prices, it's hard not to discuss the household finances. Moreover, engaged couples find it necessary to talk about what they are bringing to the table, so to speak, so that each has an idea of what they are facing after marriage. Pre-nuptial agreements aside, there should be a candid discussion from the outset.

Experts advise that couples should sit down and not only discuss their individual finances, but together set up a household budget with the caveat that all future decisions about spending will be made together. This is especially important if a couple decides to get married only to find out that one partner may have debts and is not forthcoming about them. This can put a major strain on the future of the relationship.

There is another aspect in discussing each other’s finances and that is accepting and respecting one another’s approach in how finances are handled. That’s why a budget will offer a suitable compromise for both parties and any questions that arise could be talked about at that time.

Statistics show that men spend more money on electronics and women spend money on clothes for themselves and the kids. The problem arises when credit card abuse causes many couples to wind up in debt, which may require one or the other to pay off the debt utilizing the savings account.

Other statistics have determined that more than 50% of couples today do not disclose their assets to one another. While most couples have joint bank accounts, the desire to have separate accounts can lead to suspicious confrontations.

It’s important for couples to be upfront and honest about their finances. Without that trust, questions will always arise and bitter feelings will ensue.

Although in our parents’ day, it was the “breadwinner” who felt the need to control the household budget, it’s different today because there are often two breadwinners in the family. There is an old expression, “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.” That may have been the case at one time, but no longer.

Couples need both paychecks to survive in this economic recession. Holding back debts or assets serves no purpose. An honest and open discussion about what each couple is bringing to the relationship is the only way to bridge the gap and work together as a unit rather than separate entities.